Modesty Went Out The Window.

Like most teen girls or young woman,  I could have found a million things I wanted to change about my body.  I wished I were taller, I wished I were thinner, I wished, I wished, I wished!

I don't think I was unique in my feelings.  I was extremely self conscious, hated changing in front of anyone; whether peers or my own mother. 

It wasn't until I gave birth, when all modesty went out the window.  It didn't matter anymore what I wasn't or wished I were.  It was now more about what an incredible body I did have that could create, carry, birth and nourish another living human being.  A piece of me and a piece of my husband.  A whole being that was our son!

Even my relationship to my husband changed during the birth of our son.  Together, we labored and delivered our child.  Our baby boy!  Our hearts and souls. 

My husband is very squeamish and I don't think either one of us knew how it would go- but the beauty he saw during the birth of our son, made his admiration of my body even deeper. 

I am a lucky woman!  My husband adores me and thinks I am incredibly beautiful, both inside and out.  Even, while raising a young boy with little time for personal maintenance, I have no doubt whether or not my husband still finds me attractive.

And now, with our son approaching potty training, modestly is truly over rated.  I can't tell you the last time I had a private moment, without little eyes watching, narrating and even cheering for my successes.

But when do I, as a mother of a son, take back some of those private times?  What will my son learn should I decided to close the door on him?  I want my son to know some form of modestly, to ask for privacy, to have respect for his and other people's bodies. 

At the same time, I want my son to have no shame, to love and find beauty in all shapes and sizes.

So for now, I will keep the door open and hope that he knows the door is always open.


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